A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, 'Did you see what your monkey just did?' The guy says, 'No, what?' 'He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!' says the bartender.
'Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,' replies the patron. 'He eats everything in sight, the little jerk. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff.' He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. 'Did you see what your monkey did now?' 'Now what?' asks the patron. 'Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!' says the barkeeper. 'Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,' replies the patron.
'He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue ball he measures everything first!'

We came across Monkey Bar after trying to get away from the madness of Santa bar-crawlers in Center City. For a while, we were the only people in the place (around 6 PM on a Saturday), but we didn't mind because the bartender was very friendly and the warm apple cider with cinnamon whiskey was perfect after walking in the cold. The bartender asks 'hey man, whats with the monkey?' The man replies 'watch this!' The man then slaps the monkey and then the monkey starts blowing him. 'Wow that's pretty cool' says the bartender. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, 'Did you see what your monkey just did?' Forget everything you know about the conventional bartending competition - The Ultimate Bartender Championship is back! Throughout the world in 2019 bartenders will participate in challenges designed to test the Skills that Pay the Bills and prove your competency in all aspects of what it takes to be a top bartender.

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You are one half of the MalteseFalcon.

Bare minimum requirements: Hang around the bar and provide people with liquids in glass cups.

• 1Equipment
• 6Tips

Equipment

Armor vest: don't underestimate the value of this in blocking damage
Double-Barreled Shotgun (See below)
A shaker for mixing drinks
Vending machine containing formal uniforms like what you start with, black shoes and top hats. There is an additional top-hat on the bar.
Booze-O-Mat, your ID-locked best friend and container of all that is alcoholic.
Beer keg, beer locker, vending machines and a mixer, all inside your storage room.
Beer goggles, for identifying reagents in drinks.
Your loyal monkey assistant. Has a tendency to push people around, be abused and get harvested for meat by the chef.
Tapper: This One's For You - Reading this book bestows the ability to throw containers such as glasses and beakers without spilling the contents. The power can be toggled, and the book can be read any number of times.
Drink display, for your special mixes so you don't have to scatter them on the counter like a sleazeball. (Only on some stations)

Your shotgun

Your shotgun is double-barrelled. It can hold two shells at once and fire both in quick succession. Clicking it in your hand will break the shotgun, causing the shells inside to fall to the floor. It starts loaded with two beanbag shells, and you start with extra ones in your bag.

You can get more shells using cargo's autolathe. Lethal shells (red) do sixty brute damage, beanbag shells (green) do ten brute damage and knock people down, darts do five toxin damage, and blank (white) shells do nothing. Autolathes can create circular saws, which you can use to saw off your shotgun so it can fit in your bag. If you do this while the gun is loaded, it will go off in your face.

R&D can also produce Stun Shells that act as a Taser Electrode, if putting holes in people isn't your style.

Tending to your Bar

You have a whole bunch of spirits in your handy Booze-o-mat vending machine, with which to mix all manner of drinks. The Vodka in your Booze-o-mat cures some radiation, and Screwdriver can efficiently purge radiation in engineering staff.

Difficulty is minimal, but bar fights can get deadly if your most valued patrons are too drunk to intervene. People also love to murder people having a good time in the bar, especially if you start serving Beepsky Smashes.

Human Controlled Pun Pun!

Is that NPC Pun Pun too boring for you? Well now you can turn someone into Pun Pun! First take Pun Pun to genetics and get him scanned in those fancy machines. You want to scan UI+UE and SE. Inject the victim willing participant with the SE first and wait til he becomes a monkey. Second inject him with the UI+UE and tada! Player controlled Pun Pun. Take him back to the bar and have him dance on the table tops for space cash. The old Pun Pun can be given to the chef to quench the evil desires of that wretched machine of his. If you want to communicate with the new Pun Pun be sure to get a pAi. If your monkey friend is too quick to leave you don't fret! Monkeys can be handcuffed, so just handcuff him to chair. Now he can NEVER LEAVE!

Beyond The Booze-o-Mat

The chemist has access to, and will usually readily give, most of the chemicals you could want for drinks. In addition, many chemicals have tastes and effects on their own, and can be added to drinks to create flavor/effect combinations that are impossible with just the booze-o-mat and dispensers. For example, thermite tastes like sweet metal, and chlorine trifluoride tastes like burning- both creating delicious drinks that are also serious weapons or tools when thrown.

Serving up a cool glass of pain

Traitor barman has it hard. You only start with Bar access. If you're not in the bar when someone inevitably shows up, expect them to try to break in or call attention to your absence. You have one advantage in that you spawn with a potentially lethal weapon nearby, voiding the need for a revolver or similar item. You'll need the QM or a Cargo Technician's help to get lethal shells, however. They can use your shotgun to bust open locked crates, so see if you can't strike a mutually beneficial deal with them.

Use of an emag and your shotgun may help you for assassinations. It is best to stay around the bar as much as you can, as you will look suspicious if a million people want a drink at the bar.

Some of your drinks can have.. Hawkbell usb devices driver download. beneficial effects. If you get the ingredients for Beepsky Smash or Neurotoxin, you have an instant stun. Or you could just go the old-fashioned down and dirty route and poison drinks outright.

• Several drinks you can make will have actual effects OTHER than getting people sloshed. To name a few:
  • Beepsky Smash is a fairly easy to make (You'll need Iron from Chemistry) incredibly easy to make (just get iron from the ORM) drink, which when ingested provides an immediate and incredibly powerful stun while also forcing the victim to stand still.
  • Milk Cream, Orange Juice, Lime Juice, and Tomato Juice all heal small amounts of brute, oxygen, toxin, and burn, respectively.
  • 'Nothing' and Banana Juice will heal Clowns and Mimes of all damage types at a decent rate
  • Carrot Juice can heal eye damage
  • Hooch heals assistants
• Temperature issues? A handful of drinks can either cool you down or heat you up!
  • Lemon-Lime, Iced Tea, Iced Beer,Thirteen Loko, and Space-Up will all chill you
  • Antifreeze, Sbiten, Soy Latte, Coffee, Chocolate, and the elusive Toxins Special will all warm you up
• There are quite a few other drinks with special effects - Experiment and mix them all into an omni-cocktail!

Monkey Shoulder Bartender Challenge

Traitor Bartender

Monkey Bartender Joke

• An emag can make a Syndicate Café sign when used on your bartender screen.. Useless but good to know, right?
• Neurotoxin is more potent than Chloral Hydrate - If you can find a way to apply it, your victim will spend a very long time on the floor
• Beepsky Smash makes someone incapable of holding items in their hands. Mix this with your poisons to completely debilitate your targets.
• You can knock somebody down by breaking a bottle of alcohol over their head (Any of the several in the Booze-o-Matic), provided they aren't wearing robust headgear. This also drenches them in potentially dangerous fluids -- cover them in something flammable and use a lighter or welder to ignite, or douse them in acid in deal heavy damage. This works with all chemicals, so get creative and experiment.
• The Bartender's damp rag can be used to smother people. Soak it in a chemical to transfer 5u to it. Then click someone on . Doesn't work if they have their mouth covered.
• Slipping a pill into a drink creates an obtrusive message, but can still be an effective way to transfer chemicals without somebody noticing. Make sure the glass isn't full!
• With a Toxins Kit and some Shotgun Darts your shotgun can become one of the deadliest weapons on the station, with a 1-shot kill that deals upwards of 150 toxin damage in less than 30 seconds
  • Even without darts, the toxins kit is incredibly strong - 20u of Polonium is very lethal, as are many of the other chemicals

Monkey Bartender Japan